So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
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I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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