If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
