ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Boobs are out for the taking
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
