During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
