brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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