Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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