Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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