Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
