i barfeds in our rink
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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