Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize