Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
