I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
