My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
