official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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