i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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