U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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