whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize