I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
