She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
