I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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