Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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