he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
