All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
