Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
