i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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