Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
