is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
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can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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