so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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