ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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