I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
