Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
