Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
