is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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