that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
