How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
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