i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
