Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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