I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
