thus making me awesome and them whores
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
