if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I wear drunk well.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
