A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
