Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Still dying that you shit outside
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
