But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize