yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
