My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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