i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake