Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?