I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...