It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize