We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
