I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think your dad took our porno
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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