The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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