did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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