can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
