You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
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Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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