You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
