And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
