she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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