I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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