There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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